Today was my first major exam in my first year of trying to earn a masters degree and to my disappointment, there are a few points I realized.

1. To study means to read and read and read again. Over and over again so you can fully understand and familiarize the concepts you are reading and not reading just for the heck of it.

2. Be independent at all times and when it says exams, it also means having your own sheet of paper ready. I felt embarrassed that I was asking a sheet of paper from my classmate for my answer sheet  (although I wasn't the only one who asked). Just like the good old day. Only difference is that I was the one asking and not the one giving out some or trying to hide my pad of paper for my classmates not see and avoid them asking for some.

3. Exams are different in high school, college and in masteral. I was fully expecting an objective type of test when what was handed over to us was an essay-explain-this-and-that type of test. I know we also have this back in high school and in college but it was somehow different for me. I requires my full understanding and analyzation of the topics discussed.

For some time, I was staring at my paper and the questions. I wasn't even sure how to start answering some of the question and I wasn't even sure of those items I was able to answer first. My answers make no sense at all for me. I am not really sure if I was just too stupid to assume that memorizing names and points from the topics we have discussed will assure the passing of my exams but I was very much disappointed while I was answering the questions until the time I got home. It struck me most to realize that I was really in a different level now. I mean, I was able to get through the other educational stages. This one must be different and I should exert more effort especially when it is only scheduled once a week.

I continue to agonize about my fear of failing my very first exam until this moment. There were 7 items in the questionnaire and each was equivalent to 10pts. Well, wish me luck. I have an 89% target grade to maintain my scholarship.