A little of everything and something: thoughts

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Here I am again... On the empty page of composing this blog entry. Well, at least now I was able to write a few lines rather than staring at it and idling while thoughts come in and out of my mind.
It's amazing how the sun actually shines and sets every day. The sun actually goes through the same pattern every single day which is not very different to what we, humans, do. We do routinary work every day. But funny how we sometimes complain yet still manages to do it again the following day.

The sun, we'll never know, maybe tired of shining and setting everyday of its existence. And yet, it's still there. It's meant to be there and so it stays.

Human as we are, we get tired. It's normal. We aren't robots or some kind of battery operated thingy that can be charged whenever we get low-powered. We rest. Our capacity to be tired is usually associated with our capacity to stop and rest for a while. And sometimes, it is even more amazing that we feel so tired but we don't want to stop.

Time is something we can’t hold. It just passes by without a warning or even a pat on the shoulder. But what happens through time can be under our control. We can decide to be happy and at the same time, we can decide to feel miserable.

It’s funny how one person can realize that one’s emotion sometimes can be self-inflicted. And even all emotions can be self-inflicted. But why do we tend to inflict these to ourselves. It’s crazy how you can actually smile but chose to cry instead.

The human brain is very complex that only God, Himself, who created it, is the only one capable of reading it.

Sometimes I wish I could read minds and I know I am not the only person who wants that as well. But think about it. If we can read minds of everyone else around us, what importance will talking and feeling have? We could just trespass onto another’s mind and then what? Nothing. I wonder if we could be able to get a certain satisfaction through it.

Sometimes it’s frustrating when you seem to be mind-guessing. It’s not fun, you know. It is a headache-giver game and I happened to try it like a zillion times since my existence on planet Earth. But I figured out why some people want to be clairvoyant in some ways.

There are certain times when asking just won’t help and that you’d rather read what’s on the other person’s mind so as you know what is happening. And it would be much more convenient to read than to have it explained. At least, when you try to read, there’s no editing. You read what is there and that is it.

But somehow we do not and cannot in any way read each other’s minds and I am also happy we can’t. We are then given the responsibility over the things we think of and of our feelings and reactions. It is like Science. We tend to respond to a certain stimuli. Now it’s up to us to react on it or just shut up and let it pass.

Many times I have regret saying something. Many times I have thought of something but never acted on it. And many times I have kept what I felt inside and just let it dwell in there like a corpse that is slowly decaying. No matter how I try to figure how things work about something I regret of, I somehow thought that it was still me who made the choice and I cannot blame anybody for it. The finger is on me.
This page is getting longer and I’ve been jumping from one thought to another although I placed it all in a one big ball of thoughts.
It nice to be able to write about something you just happened to think about.  I know I don’t do this regularly or maybe I do but I keep it in a diary.

Everyday, countless “what-if’s”, “how’s” and “uncategorized thoughts” cross my mind. No wonder why my brain sometimes feels so stressed out. I’m hoping it was stressed by studying but it is not. I cannot even say my thoughts are non-sense because I believe they are not. I guess they are just scribbles in my mind waiting to be told and shared or thrown far, far away.

Memories live and we cannot choose to only keep the happy ones and bury the heartbreaking ones. They come together whether we like it or not. So, smile. No one needs a sour face in a bittersweet world.♥

- repost from my multiply blog entry 2010 

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