I have reached the point where I stopped trying to be someone who's gonna be good enough for you because I know I am too good enough already. I have reached the point where I exactly know where I stand in your life and that I am needed to stay there. I am happy about everything. I believe that what we have is something rare. But I also believe that what we have is something I'm always scared of having in the first place. You have the capacity to break my heart without you knowing it. I don't know where the road leads us but eventually we'll get where we are supposed to be. Just hang on.

I hate to think that the world gives us less options to choose from. At the same time, I understand how come we only have lesser choices than we wish we could have. We have created a world of our own apart from the world every one else wanted us to belong in.

I believe we were given enough time to be together. Though we could never see it to be just enough. We will always wish we could have more.

It hurts to think how things will eventually turn out. It hurts even more to see that there are no other possibilities at this point in time. Because it wasn't even meant to happen in the first place.

I think we have reached the point when we are supposed to be our stronger selves. The point when we should act like grown-ups and think of the greater things outside our little box. Yes, it will never be easy. And it would be harder for me to deal with.

We both have choices to make. How I wish we could make them together and for each other.


Too soon maybe. But yes, we're running out of time.

Sometimes, we say the words we never mean and most of the time, we keep those that mean so much to us. It's an irony how we usually cannot explain how we exactly feel but still feel it as often as we hate to feel it. There will always be things that we will never understand.


And sometimes, we just gotta stop trying to.

Dear Friend,

It's been quite a while. Actually feels like forever since we last talked. Graduating from college sure means a lot of changes. But I guess that was the way it's supposed to be anyway. I have been wanting to write this for some time already but I never got to sit and ponder what I really wanted to tell you. So this is me trying to put my thoughts and feelings into words and assuming that somehow, some day, you'll get to read this and then maybe... Just maybe, you'll try to take a stroll down memory lane or nostalgia river.

The last few days of college was the turning point. I cannot even remember how things happened but we just don't get together that much anymore. We were starting to drift apart. You leave class without saying goodbye, don't show up when we invite you out, choose to be somewhere else during break time. It was the last year of college and soon we will be on our separate ways. It's supposed to be the time to make the most of everything, laugh as hard as we can, make fun of each other or just simply be there. But you weren't. Where were you?

I somehow felt bad, felt alone during some time and you weren't there like you used to be. Why? Where have you been?

Then graduation happened. Every thing was as overwhelming as it was expected to be. Everybody was busy taking pictures and hugging each other. Hell it's the end of college days! We were ecstatic. It was very nice to look at the pictures and reminisce that moment. But then again, as I go over everything I wonder. Where were you?

The first few months after graduation, we seldom text each other. I don't even know what you applied for and which companies you sent your application to. I have no idea where you are. And slowly, everything just seems to be very much different. I remember seeing you in some places, I remember walking pass you, I remember us almost bumping at each other... But no words were ever spoken. No hugs were ever thrown at each other. Nothing but a blank stare of hesitation and unrecognition. Like we never knew each other and it's sad. The saddest part is when I realized that you have turned from someone I "know" to someone I "knew".

Countless times, I feel like trying to reach out and trying to figure out what went wrong and just patch it up. Countless times, I feel like wanting to just talk to you like how I used to. And countless times, I failed and just ignored my attempting ideas. But when I finally got the courage to reach out, when I finally decided for myself to finally try, I got nothing. And I felt bad. So bad for myself for even trying and worse for having been ignored. It was then when I finally told myself, "I have to move on."

You see, moving on does not just happen in romantic relationships. I even think it happens more often to simpler kind of relationships like the friendship we have. I have to just accept the fact that not all friendship lasts until the end and that PEOPLE CHANGE.

I do not take that change against you for I know you are happy wherever you are now, whoever you are with and whatever you are doing. No, I am not bitter or anything. I have come passed that stage as well. I have gotten over trying to look at the pictures we have and reading old comments in facebook. I have accepted that some things are better as memories. I have walked pass through denying and hoping.We had four good years and know that I will forever be grateful. Thank you. 

This has taught me a lot about friendship. 

I know I have a fair share of the blame as to why things ended up like this. I wish I could understand everything well, I wish I could know exactly what happened. Then again, some questions are best left unanswered. 

So here I am. I think this is the best I could ever put into words.

I guess there will always be that friend you will lose along the way. Not that you had a fight or a misunderstanding. Not that you moved a million miles away from each other. Not that you have replaced a friend with another. It doesn't mean you won't care for each other. It doesn't mean you don't mean well for each other because I will always wish you well and good. There's just that someone you are supposed to lose. 

And we just lost each other.




My dear friend, I think I've held on for too long. So today, I'm finally letting go.

People are often full of questions. When someone is nice to us, we wonder why. When someone helps us, we still wonder why this person is helping us. We wonder why because we fear that there might be something bad that could happen after the good. But we have to know that not all things have a reason behind them. It's just the way it is. Or I could say, not all people have bad intentions in doing the good things they do. Sometimes, we just have to stop wondering and start appreciating. That would be easier, right?

The way we are now is starting to be the complete opposite of what we used to be. Is this the way things are supposed to turn out as the years gone by?