A little of everything and something

Skinny love

8/31/2012 09:36:00 PM

Complexity of my human emotions

8/29/2012 08:42:00 PM

Lately, I have been exercising the limbic system of my precious brain. I have learned how to control the emotions I have and somehow figured out how to determine the should-have emotions from the must-suppress emotions. It's a bit tricky and confusing. But I know that it doesn't really matter much whatever you choose to feel.

Someone I know once told me: "Feelings are neither right nor wrong." And I believe so. You can feel something you aren't supposed to feel and yet it stays there. It stays and you like it. Sometimes, you don't feel what you must really feel. Instead, you feel the complete opposite of the feeling. You see, feelings are confusing.

I cherish every feeling I am able to feel. I mean, not everyone is able to experience diverse emotions. Some are just plain insensitive. I don't blame them. At times I wish I could be.

I figured out a way I could get along with my feelings. I learned that if I gave in to the negative I feel, I can manage to sulk over it for a period of time. I swear it's not something highly recommended. Yet if I ignore what I feel and put it aside, it manages to get back at me in a way or another. Not recommended either.

What helps me now is to pause... close my eyes... breath... and smile.

I know it's kinda crazy but it works on me.

I know I cannot filter what I feel. Although I wish I can. Who wouldn't want that, right? But reality is, we really can't and we should live with the thought that every now and then, we have this emotional tendencies we are not proud of.

Point is, we feel. It's human nature. But we must know when and how to act upon it. I get hurt, but it does not mean I should get a grip and keep a grudge against the person responsible for the pain.

Sometimes, we just need to live with it. Everyday, a lot of things can make us happy. A lot can make us cry too. It just takes a simple decision of whether you want to stay happy or continue crying. I know I don't want to keep on crying. So today I learned that I can say good things. I can react positively towards a sad revelation or a disappointing news. I just have to inhale the reaction until I completely absorb it. It's not easy. Takes practice. I still lose myself into my feelings sometimes.

I know I can always try to be happy. I have a bucket of happy memories in the right side of my brain. I know I have them. But we must also accept that sometimes, memories remain as memories and it's all they can ever be. Maybe for now, maybe it can be relived one day. Just hang on to it and cherish the feeling. It will never fade because you felt it at its best.

fear

Worry plus fear

8/27/2012 10:56:00 PM

People say that you should picture the future -- what you want to be, where you want to be, who you want to be with, etc. It's something normal people usually do. We dream and there's nothing wrong about it. It is normal that we aspire or wish for something to be or have.

I have a lot of plans for my life. Some even changed already or greatly modified. Some plans just vanished into thin air and who-knows where they are now. Point is, our visions change. But our spirit must not.

Everyday, there is a pressure I put upon myself about looking for a job and having the real dream job. Yet I know, everything is a staircase process. One should be in the first step before reaching the top. Some are just lucky to take the elevator and be at the top in a blink of an eye.

I worry. That's sad news.

Usually, I tell myself not to worry because I should not and I am not supposed to. But I still do. Maybe not always but at times, I do and it's not cool.

I fear. That's sad news too.

I worry because I have fears. A lot. But I know that I should not and I am not supposed to, again. But I still do. And it really sucks.

Worry + Fear. Not such a great combination. Does not work well together and it will try to screw you up big time!

On the other hand, I have gained a few and nice things to allow myself to slowly withdraw from these feelings.

I remember I posted:

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Worry and everything seems worthless. Pray and everything will be worth it.”

It's something I live with and remind myself and those people dear to me about. And I know it helps to be reminded. Somehow makes a difference.

I wonder where the thought goes whenever I feel the unwelcomed-tandem (worry+fear). I wonder how it pops in and in again in my mind. It's bothering.

I have a lot of things in my mind. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I feel this way. I have special moments when I am able to clear them up and I have worse moments when they pile up one after the other.

I was running through the thoughts in my mind when I realized that I fear of the things I do not want to happen in the future. That I think about tomorrow too much, think about the day after tomorrow too much. Scared of what tomorrow may bring. Even scared if tomorrow has something to bring. I am scared that the things I do not want to happen may visit me and stay for good. Scared that I might lose something or someone along the way of building myself.

I am scared to take a larger leap. Does it mean then that I have lesser faith?

Maybe. Cos' I have the fear to take the larger leap of my life story.

Somehow, we get so used to what we have, where we stand and everything that is part of our "good" lives. We think that we are satisfied. We do not need anything more. But sometimes, we know we do need more, something much better. We are just scared to take another step towards the better because we are scared of losing the "good" in the process.

Many of us are also blinded that there can be something more. I know I am, sometimes.

The Bible gives us 365 verses that tells us not to fear. 365 days, 365 promises by God. It will be more than enough for us to get through. Jesus said:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God. Have faith also in me." (John 14:1)

I pray now that the Lord may grant me the wisdom to know His will for me, courage to face it and the humility to accept it will all my heart. He washed my sins. He, too, shall wash away my worries and fears.

A friend texted me about a song. Let me share it too you.

I know it's not just me who worries, who fears. But with all the worries and fear I have in me, I want to convert them into something that could be of use to the others who have more worries and fears than me. I wanna be a part of somebody else's story. Maybe the story could be yours.

CSSDO

Reality in the streets (street children situation in Davao)

8/22/2012 12:30:00 PM

The society has a lot on hand today. So many issues we have been facing and still on to looking for the appropriate resolutions. There are realities that flash before our eyes before we could ever wonder why it occurs and make a move to settle it.

“The youth are the hope of the nation”, a famous proverb once said. Yes, indeed, they are meant to be the ones who will rise up for the whole society and bring them to a world of improvement. But how can this be manifested when there are a lot of the youth today that are found in the streets whom we so-called “street children”.

UNICEF define street children as minors whose home ties are so weakened that they essentially live on the streets relying on their efforts to meet virtually all their basic needs by which, the streets has become their habitual source of livelihood. They are inadequately protected supervised and directed by a responsible adult.

Street children are classified under two categories: purely street-based and working children. Those children who considered the streets to be their home are the purely street-based while those who are either in-school or out of school, has contact with their family yet spend time on the streets to earn a living or to help their families are considered to be working children.

According to the data from the CSSDO, there are a total of 733 street children in Davao City, 486 of them are purely street-based and 247 are working children. Their usual convergence area are Barangay 2-A, Bankerohan, Magallanes, Legaspi, Anda corner Rizal, Ilustre, Bonifacio, People’s Park, Camus, Quirino, Ponciano, Osmeña Park, Rizal Park, Quezon Park, San Pedro, Claveria, G-Mall Parking Lot, Guerrero Street, intersection between San Pedro College and Holy Cross College, Torres Street, back of Victoria Plaza and McDonalds area in Bajada.

Most commonly, these children are in the streets because they run away from home, unable to cope with the abuses and incidence of violence. They also have poor standards of living which eventually forced them to work in the streets in which they are considerably more prone to danger and certain kind of abuses.

Riding in a cab or simply passing by the streets, no one can ignore that fact that street children are everywhere, walking by, asking for alms, wiping the windshields of the vehicles when the red light is on, asking for food and others. At the same time, looking at them makes people wonder what help is offered to them by the authorized persons.

Once you start to ask why they are in the streets, you will get a very common and predictable answer—“kung dili ko mag trabaho diri, wala mi makaon.”

It was easy to approach one of them in the intersection of Quirino. I had food and juice in my bag and started to ask a boy, “Gusto ka mukaon?” And the boy nodded his head with no hesitation. Seeing the way he responded to my offer of food makes me realize that they easily trust people that can provide them with what they need. But the hope in me remains that those who offer them their needs would be good to them too.

He was a 13-year old boy, out of school and is living with his mother somewhere in the city. According to him, he starts walking around the streets and wiping the windshields of the vehicles that pass by at 4:00 pm until 2:00 am. I asked why late in the afternoon and he simply answered, “Dakpon man gud mi, te.”Surprisingly, he told me they will be taken to DSWD after being caught and eventually will be fed. Nevertheless, it was ironic of him not wanting to be fed since he added that they will not be held long by the said agency. The reason? He does not want to leave his mother behind.

Children scattered in the streets of the city is usually rescued by the Mobile Patrol Group. The term “rescue” is usually misinterpreted as “getting caught”. Most of the time, those rescued children are referred to the Quick Response Team for Children’s Concern (QRTCC) which is under the City Social Services and Development Office (CSSDO). Rescue was the term to be used appropriately since these children are not removed from the streets to place them in jail but rather to provide them guidance. This was clearly explained by the officer in charge and center head, Ms. Minda Silvano.

The QRTCC’s main function is to rescue and provide appropriate interventions to referred children by police groups, barangay officials, other CSSDO districts and concerned citizens as well.

Those referred street children are sheltered in a temporary home namely Paginhawaan Drop-in Center for boys and Sidlakan Women Center for girls. From the moment the children are turned over to their office, they are immediately oriented that the homes are temporary and that those of them who has a family will be brought back. To date, there are 484 children served and provided temporary shelter.

These children are provided not only with shelter but also with activities such as homelife and group living services, alternative education, counseling, arts and crafts, tutorial, drug abuse information education, spiritual activities, and reunification with families and relatives.

But these services that are offered to the children are considered temporary. They still will be taken back to their rightful families and to be taken care of their parents. By which eventually lead them back to the streets once more.

The presence of the street children in our society is a cycle that continuously flows. The children are rescued, given temporary services and guidance, brought back to their homes, and then back to the streets.

They have been comfortable in the streets they walk on and so, they will eventually go back there.

Lastly, in my short moment with that boy, I asked if he ever wished not to work anymore. He gave me a surprising answer and said, “Dili. Gusto gyud ko magtrabaho kay maluoy man sad ko sa akuang mama.” The words of a young boy touched my heart and made me realize how he has openly accepted the responsibility to earn for a living.

At certain times, we get the wrong impression when it comes to street children. At times, we avoid and drive them away. People have the perception about them as homeless, hungry, petty thieves, eyesore, troublesome, batang libudsuroy sa kadalanan, palaboy and some other ugly names like salot, and tun-og. Yet, we never came to realize how they hoped not to ask for alms just to survive the day.

Responsibility towards them is not only depending on the government. At the same time, we, as citizens, should take place to give them support. Almsgiving is legally not allowed. However, it is not only in giving them money that we can be able to help.

In cooperation with the government, we can help them understand how their form of livelihood in the streets is not safe for them. They are not yet of legal age and their time to work for a living will come. They may not immediately understand what we mean but we must also try to be patient in dealing with them.

Having temporary homes means temporary services. We cannot always depend on what is temporarily available on hand but sometimes, we must learn to accept that it is all that is available as of today but we are still expecting more to come someday.

City Mayor Sara Duterte-Carpio stressed out that the problem with these children is most commonly rooted in the family and so, the problem in the family shall be addressed first. Since the parents have the full responsibility for these street children, they are the ones directly approached by social workers. The street children are forced to be in the streets due to poverty and in line with this is the unemployment of their parents. So, the government is conducting livelihood skills training for the parents which are focused mainly on the mothers. Through this, the parents will therefore be given enough income for their family to survive and the children to no longer be in the streets. Furthermore, they are planning to expand the scope of the public schools that offers Sunday school. Through this, even though they work during the week, they can still have the chance to get proper education and eventually have a better job.

The government has done its part, maybe not perfectly, maybe not extravagantly but they have done what they can.

Knowing this reality in the streets allows me, as a student, to spiritually grow and learn. The world is not the happiest place and nor are we the luckiest person in it but having the resources to live a comfortable life makes us lucky enough and gives us the challenge to share a part of our blessings to the ones considered to be the hope of our nation.

bread of life

Scripture Reflection 6 “One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” - Matthew 4:4

8/05/2012 03:12:00 PM

In our daily lives, we need a lot of things in order to survive. God, as our creator, is fully aware of all these things. That is the reason why everyday, we have food on our tables and clothing to wrap around our bodies.

God is a great provider. I know everyone can attest to this one. Even if God does not give you exactly what you asked for at times, He always have something in store for you. He never leaves you empty-handed.

In the first reading, God has provided manna for Moses and his people. God wants to let them know about His miraculous providence so that they will trust in Him. In the second reading, St. Paul reminds us that we should not live like the pagans. Pagans’ main concerns for their lives are worldly possessions. We, as Christians should know better. We must put away the old self and our former way of life, corrupted through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and put on the new self, created in God’s way in righteousness and holiness of truth. (Ephesians 4:22-24)

In the gospel, Jesus realized that the people did not come to Him because they have been renewed and touched by the Holy Spirit but rather because He has given them their fill of the loaves. And so Jesus told the people, “Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him the Father, God, has set his seal.” (John 6:27)

When we get hungry, we eat. That’s the normal reflex. When we eat, we get full. We get satisfied. But we should also put in mind that Jesus is the “Bread of Life”. Jesus said in John 6:35, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”

I remember moments when our family experience trials. Lately, I was admitted in the hospital. First reason why I don’t want to be admitted was that I don’t want to be a burden to my parents by having them pay my hospital bill. But it’s the way it is supposed to be. Anyhow, I was really praying that there won’t be a need for me to be admitted but the doctor insisted that I needed to stay in the hospital so I can be monitored. And so I was admitted for the third time with the same diagnosis. When I got inside my room, the first thing inside my mind was, “Haaay. Gasto nasad.” It was what I thought because I don’t feel weak enough to stay in the hospital. I feel like I can handle it by just going on with my everyday stuffs normally. My mom was telling me not to worry about anything and that it is more important that I get well.

I realized after some time that I became doubtful about God’s provisions. In Matthew 6:25, God said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” God made me realize that worrying does not help. And after everything that happened to me, my God did provide everything that I need. He healed me too. That is how awesome God is! You see, it is God, Himself, that tells us we’ve got nothing to worry because He got our back. God wants us to trust Him daily with our every need.

Yes, God provides us with the things we need to survive but at the same time, He tells us that those things are not the most important things in life. It is written in Matthew 4:4 that, “One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” What good is there for us when we are able to eat and satisfy our stomach everyday and yet never get our souls filled? At the end of the day, everything will be worthless. We must all know that the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drinks, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17) There is more to life than to just merely feed ourselves with tasty food and refreshing drinks. There is more to life than all the fancy clothes and accessories we have in our closets.

At certain times we say, “Si Lord na bahala.” But this does not have the same meaning as, “Your will be done.” What is negative about the first sentence is that we give the Lord the responsibility above everything that we end up doing nothing to gain what we are asking for. On the other side, “Your will be done” is another way of saying, “Lord, I pray for this to happen. I am working so much for this. But no matter what, let your will be done and I will accept it wholeheartedly.” We pray but we surrender because God knows what is best for us and He know what we need even before we ask Him (Matthew 6:8).

Now, as we pray and ask God for our daily bread, may we always be reminded that Jesus himself is the bread of life. We must ask God to help us accept Jesus fully in our lives because it is only through Him and in Him that we may fully live and have eternal life.

A simple reminder every time you feel worried about anything in your life:

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Worry and everything seems worthless. Pray and everything will be worth it.”

Awful Chicken

Lyndon's Worst Ribs is worst! :)

7/23/2012 04:30:00 PM

christian

Scripture Reflection 5 "Do not be afraid; just have faith." - Mark 5:36

7/01/2012 12:18:00 PM

Every time we experience the hardest in life, we tend to pray. Let’s all face it. There are more petition prayers than thanksgiving. Wonder why? It is because we address more of our need to God. But let me ask you: Do you “ask and believe” or you “ask and doubt”?

They say, the more you expect, the more disappointment you are bound to have. That’s what we experience with other aspects in life. Sometimes, we expect to pass a subject and end up failing. We expect getting the job opportunity but end up being turned down. There are lots of disappointments around us and there are more to come out there.

But with the woman in the gospel, it was a different case. Remember she said, “If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.” Who would even think of being healed with just a touch of someone’s robe? The woman thought of it and it wasn’t just someone ordinary. It was Jesus. And when Jesus saw the woman, He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has served you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction.”

This miracle happened a long time ago. But the power of Jesus’ healing never withers. Sometimes, we are so corrupted and occupied with the pain we feel. Sometimes we feel so hurt and afflicted that we feel like we cannot cope up anymore. The woman had her hemorrhages for twelve years already and yet she still believed that even with just a touch of the clothes of Jesus, she can be healed. And she was.

At the same time, Jesus also said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid; just have faith.”

In times when we feel down-trodden, it helps to remember Jesus saying personally to us: “Do not be afraid; just have faith.”

Many times, we say to ourselves that we have a strong faith and that we believe in God. Yet many times, doubt comes into our way. Are we still waiting to witness miracles like those of the Bible for us to be able to believe? Are we still waiting for Jesus to stand right in front of us and raise up someone who died? Disappointing to think but there are some of us at a certain part of our life who waits for these things to happen.

Let me share to you a simple definition of what faith is. Faith is firm belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion. This is all according to Mr. Webster.

Let me take you deeper.

Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. By faith, we understand that the universe was ordered by the word of God, so that what is visible came into being through the invisible. (Hebrews 11:1, 3)

Faith is not just merely believing. It is the act of believing that we, the visible exists now because of God, the invisible. It is in the complete surrender to His mighty will that we can come to the fullest.

We don’t need to come and witness every amazing miracle that happened in the Bible for us to believe that Jesus is God and that He is powerful. Ever saw the movie “A Walk To Remember”? Jamie had a lot of things she wanted to do while she still has time to live and Landon wants to help her fulfill everything on her list. He was able to fulfill everything in her list before she died except the one to witness a miracle. But he never realized that he was the miracle for Jamie. He was transformed to a better person. Jamie put her faith in Landon that he can be a good person despite everything he has done.

You see, we look for complicated events when we can say a big “woah!” and consider it a miracle. But we never come to see that every day is a miracle. Isn’t it amazing that we come to be away from our senses for how many hours and then still manage to open up our eyes and go on for another day? That’s the miracle of life.

Now, I ask you again. Do you “ask and believe” or “ask and doubt”?

I tell you, whenever you pray, claim and believe that it will happen. But as you claim, never forget that in whatever we wish and want to happen, it will always be God’s will that shall take place in our lives. And it does not mean that God does not answer our prayers. It’s just that we pray, God thinks about it, God gives us an answer. The answer could be a “yes”, a “no”, or sometimes, “not now”. But always remember that whatever God’s answer is, it is the best for us.

“for we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor 5:7)

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Just let go and let God. Keep the faith.

Skinny love

Complexity of my human emotions

Worry plus fear

Reality in the streets (street children situation in Davao)

Scripture Reflection 6 “One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” - Matthew 4:4

Lyndon's Worst Ribs is worst! :)

Scripture Reflection 5 "Do not be afraid; just have faith." - Mark 5:36

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Skinny love

Complexity of my human emotions

Worry plus fear

Reality in the streets (street children situation in Davao)

Scripture Reflection 6 “One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” - Matthew 4:4

Lyndon's Worst Ribs is worst! :)

Scripture Reflection 5 "Do not be afraid; just have faith." - Mark 5:36

About Me

Follow Me

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