Disclaimer: This is quite a delayed post due to super busy schedule. You know.

News about Typhoon Pablo was all over the 3rd day of December. It was those days that I have been busy as well so I have not really heard thorough details about what had happened. All I knew was that the storm was so bad and a lot were affected mainly in Davao del Norte and Compostela Valley.

Like a normal person, I felt sad and devastated for those people that were affected. But unlike others, I preferred to stay away from the news showing scenes of how bad the situation is at the affected places. It's depressing to hear and see. I know how bad it was and I don't need proof to believe. A lot of people gone missing, a lot died. What more should I hear and see?

 But through the struggles of our fellowmen, responsible citizens were found to be flourishing all over, taking initiative to send off relief goods, clothing, water and medicines. Like always, Filipinos never leave each other behind.

I've seen my pictures and posts of my friends getting involved in the same kind and I feel happy for them. Happy that they could help and happy that they have time.

I am in the process of adjusting in my new job and honestly, I spend most of my time sleeping. Too bad. Nevertheless, I know the simplest thing that I could do is to check on my closet and learn to let go of things that remained there for a couple of years already and never/seldom get used.

There are those clothes that you don't get to use but you don't want to give away. Maybe it has such sentimental value or maybe you just like the design or whatever. But the thought of giving it away this time made me smile and think that there are people who are in need of clothing this time and I have a more than enough inside my closet.

As I was deciding which clothes to give out, I came across these:

This is one of my Spongebob shirt collection. I am not quite sure how many years I had this already but it surely is one of my favorites. I realized that since I am a small sized person, a kid could have this and hopefully like it the way I do. I was able to let go 2 of my Spongebob shirts.


Grade 3 shirt. Haha. I know, I know. It's been so long since I was in Grade 3 but what can I do? Shirt still fits me perfectly. Don't judge. I believe the shirt was just too big for me way back 1999, I think. I can even remember having been assigned to explain the logos there. But don't ask me now. I don't remember a thing. 

Sometimes I wonder why people are the way they are. That thought includes me, of course.

People want certain specific things. People want to get them. Yet why is it when we have a slight bite of it, all we could ever want is to have more than what we have now or what we had so far.

I often sit and think of what I want to have in my life, what I've always want to happen and those that I'd be so grateful and ecstatic to be part of. I have so much in my mind that sometimes it's frustrating to think of a lot yet only a few of them can be part of what reality really is. No, I'm not being the pessimistic person here. In fact, I have always been the think-positive-everything-will-work-out-well person, if you must know. But there are just those times when I know I've been hoping for too much and getting less of what I've hoped for.

During particular times, I become so happy easily that I feel so shallow, dense, or whatever you want to call it. But there comes a point when I want things badly and I know I can never get it. It's just a little depressing.

There are moments when you wanted more that what is offered but you know you can only have enough, you can only have what is there for you to take. It's ironic when you kept wishing you can exceed your expectations when you know you could only expect as much as what is given for you to embrace and live for at the moment. Come to think of it.

I have often wandered around every corner of my crazy mind and I have imagine a lot of beautiful things to happen and share. I have so much if only I have the chance to do so. Sometimes I wish everything will just work out well and things will go with the flow just like what I wanted things to be. But things will never work the way I imagine things to be. Nothing could be as perfect as the things I have in my mind.

If I had the best in life, then there will be no time for me to look up to God and ask for blessings. If I had the perfect friends, there will be no time for me to understand and adapt the different personalities. If I had the perfect story, life could be so boring and eventually turn meaningless that I would have no time to dream big and aim high. See, life is just as perfect as it could be.

Life is funny. It just makes me smile. It makes me think and cry and laugh after a while. However, the life I have just makes me keep going. It's just the way it is. And I know I love it. 

Things happen. A lot of things happen, actually. And in most occasion, we just wake up and ask ourselves, "How did this happen?" or "How did I get here?". Yes, it's a funny scene when your face looks so surprised and you kept wondering. Now, I start to wonder.

One day, it was fine. Next thing I found out, it isn't anymore and God knows when it will be. 

Taking you to a bigger picture. We do things, we feel, we respond. But how will we ever know if we would respond the right way. We have choices. But unfortunately, we don't always pick the better choice. And how will we ever be able to determine which is which? You will never. You just have to take the risk to grab one option over the other and who knows what will happen next? 

I have gone around in circles yet kept finding myself back in the same spot. I don't know why but it feels like home there. It's just that sometimes, home doesn't seem to welcome you home anymore. Then, you feel orphaned.

Things happen. You just have to hang on there and wait for the better days to come. Because surely, they will. One day. Someday.

Individual differences. I believe we are all familiar of this word. Different people, different culture, different up-bringing, different beliefs, a lot of differences. Individual differences.

We make friends with people we have things in common with. We join in a club with people of the same interests as we have. We stay in these groups because we feel that certain feeling of belongingness that we all wanted to feel. But have you ever thought of joining a group of people that is very different from what you are? Join a club that does not really suit your interest? I guess not one of us would want to do that. 

In the first reading, Joshua was upset because the other two (Eldad and Medad), who was not with Moses in the gathering, prophesied. Maybe he was thinking that they were possessed by other spirits since they were not in the same place where Moses is and where prophecies has been made. Yet Moses told him, "Would that all the people of the Lord were prophets! Would that the Lord might bestow his spirits on them all!" 

In the same way, John, in the gospel, felt the same way when he saw another person who is not with them, trying to cast out demons in the name of Jesus. He asked Jesus to stop the man. Yet like Moses, Jesus did not stop that man. Instead, this is what he told John, "Do not try to stop him. No man who performs a miracle using my name can at once speak ill of me. Anyone who is not against us in with us." 

What Jesus is trying to tell us it that, we should also be open to other people that they too, might be living witnesses of God's love and power.

In a class, when we understood the lesson first, we feel proud of ourselves. We feel so awesome and intelligent. Sometimes, the thought even came to our minds hoping that our other classmates might not immediately understand what we have understood. This happens especially when we are given enough recognition by our teacher saying, "O tingnan niyo si ___. Mabuti pa siya, nakuha niya agad yung lesson." Who would deny the good feeling we all feel whenever we are praised like this in class? Nevertheless, we should also take into consideration that the Lord gave us the knowledge to be able to suffice whatever the lesson is also in order for us to help our neighbors to be able to do the same. Let's not live in our selfish ways.

The second reading tells us that all our earthly efforts and treasures will mean nothing in the next life. Jesus said in Matthew 19:23, "Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."  If we continue to work for our own selfish cause, what reward is there for us? Is it enough that we are lavished with the wealth and comfort we all aspire to have? The Lord, then, tells us to get out of our comfort zones and serve our neighbors. 

Yes, we always hear that. "Serve your neighbors." But do we really know what it really takes to serve our neighbors and place their needs before ours? It's not an easy task to do. And it remains a great challenge for each one of us to be able to do so. Just like what Jesus did.

Love moves in mysterious ways. Such cliché. Yet, we believe in it. Love moves in mysterious ways. "God is love." (1 John 4:8) Therefore, it is God that really moves in mysterious ways. It does not really matter if He moves in us or someone who is with us. What matters most is that He is moving. And He will keep on moving regardless of what we do and what we think. He gives us a daily reminder that He is always there, one way or another. We must not keep ourselves enclosed inside a box where only those who are close to our hearts are able to hear Jesus and be moved with His words of life. We must learn to share how Jesus moves in our lives. 

"Anyone who is not against us is with us." Let us, then, strive to not turn our backs on each other. I believe that it doesn't really matter if we differ in our religious preferences. What is important is that we believe that there is a God that is omnipotent and omnipresent. Also, that He exists for our sake because He loves us and believes that we are and will always be worthy of that love.

Each of us wants something in our lives to change. Maybe a part of how we look, our lifestyle, the people around us, the situations we are in and more to mention individually. And with everything we have in mind, sometimes it helps that we just pause for a while and stop thinking because sometimes, thinking doesn't really help a lot. Instead, let this prayer help you get through as I am trying to get through. 

Different things happen for different reasons. Whatever the reasons may be, we know it's for the best because God does not allow things to happen for nothing. He always has a good reason behind it, maybe even better. We have our wishes and dreams but sometimes, we just got to wait for it to come true or wait for something more than what we wished and hoped for.

Different situations come and go. Some helped us, some made us happy and some left us with pain and sadness. Regardless of its effect in our lives, I realized that there are things that are meant to be accepted the way it is. Not because I am lazy to fight for the change but because it will hurt more as I try and force things to change. It's time to embrace things the way they are and be happy with what has become. Everything will be enough. Maybe not now, but I believe they will be. Someday.

The things that happened, happening and will happen are part of God's perfect design. We just have to see good things in everything. So, I hope you get the chance to pause for a moment and say this prayer with all your heart because it helps. It's called the "Serenity Prayer".

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)

Suffering is a normal part of our human journey. When we were born in this world, we are bound to experience challenges that are supposed to mold us to be the persons we are destined to be. But how can we able to deal with our pains and sufferings? What if it's too much? How long are we supposed to hold on?

A movie line once said, "Without suffering, there will be no compassion." Some people actually misunderstood the concept of this line. It is does not mean that if you do not suffer, you will not be able to show compassion. A good example of this is Jesus' suffering. He suffered and died to show his compassion on humankind. Why does he need to suffer and die? Why can't he just be with the people, do miracle works and help everyone? It is because in his suffering, humanity has been redeemed. He did the greatest sacrifice no man could ever do. One could show compassion in any way, in any simple way possible. But the Lord Jesus suffered to show his compassion. We could ask ourselves, are we willing to suffer in order to be compassionate? Not all is willing to do so. If we could have it the easy way, then we would. It's human nature. Why go for the long way, when there's a short cut. You know, not all people are willing to step down and endure hardship for other people's sake. It takes more than courage to do so. It takes a willing heart and soul to do so. There are evil around us. Without evil, there will be no one to stand up for another in order to save him from the evil.

Human as we are, sometimes we are selfish or  most of the time selfish. Don't say you never thought about your needs before someone's needs? Once or more than twice, we come to think of what is good for us more that what is good for others. I don't think being selfish is always bad either. There are instances when we need to focus on ourselves. Not because we are selfish but because we have needs like everyone else too. But God wants us to understand that we must also be able to see the need of offering a hand to others.

In the gospel, Jesus was talking about how he is bound to suffer, die and rise again. His disciples did not really understand what he truly means yet remained silent about it and scared to ask. Eventually, the disciples were arguing about "who was the most important". The thought of them thinking about this makes me feel how dense they were trying to be when Jesus was talking about dying and there they were, arguing and competing against each other about who was more important. They literally ignored Jesus' words saying what is bound to happen to him. And so Jesus told them, "If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35) What he simply means is that we must not hunger for the recognition of this world. We can do different things but if what we do is just to please the world, then it will all be nothing. We must be able to put in mind that the greatness he is inviting us possess is through service.

What service then does the Lord teaches us? Remember, Jesus took a child in his midst while telling his disciples, "Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me." (Mark 9:37) It is in receiving him that we are able to receive the Father as well. The child represents the kind of service that Jesus is telling us. A child cannot do more with only himself. Therefore he needs someone to assist him in different things. Yet when someone finally helped him, the child cannot give anything in return in order to pay for the help given to him. Therefore, we must be able to give service and not ask nor wait for anything in return. In this way, the service we are able to offer is something that is of pure intentions. Totally not for self-gratification nor for self-righteousness but simply for pure service.

In the second reading, James is telling us that conflicts are often self-inflicted. For example, the Lord tells us to love our enemies but we know it is really hard to do so. And so, consciously or unconsciously, we are able to create a conflict within ourselves regarding what we have to do and what is easier for us to do (which is most likely what we want to do anyway). Yet Jesus again reminds us that we live for the glory of God and not for the glory of man nor for our own glory. And to be able to be great in the eyes of the Lord, we must be able to serve others with love in our hearts even if it will cause us pain and suffering. 

It is not a simple task. But it remains a great challenge to every one. In simple context, we can put it this way. Whenever the youth ministry has an activity, we always have a choice. One can always attend and one can always ditch it over another more fun activity. We know that attending the activities can help us grow spiritually and eventually lead other people into seeing God's light in their lives through evangelization. But sometimes, we think that going to the activities will lead our other friends to turn their back on us because we chose to be in some other place than where they are. That's our simple point of suffering. We get to be rejected and judged by other people. But we must also know that on the other side of the story, we were all able to strengthen our relationship with God and can be his instrument in other people's lives (service). 

In the Bible, Peter said, "But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you." (1Peter 5:9-10) Let this verse be one of your strong hold that the Lord will be there in every suffering you will encounter in proclaiming His glory. He alone shall be your strength and this strength will be more that enough.

Jesus loves us so much. Despite our sins, he does not love us any lesser.  May we also have the grace to love as Jesus loves us that we may be able to transform our selfish hearts to giving, generous hearts.


To live is to suffer. To survive it is to find meaning in the suffering. The world is full of suffering but in every suffering, there comes overcoming.  Let Jesus be our meaning and strength in our overcoming. And see how everything will just fall into place. :)

God bless!

"Follow Jesus." We hear this always and we say this in and out of our heads too. We know it's what we are supposed to do and we know how hard we are trying in order for us to do so. Yet it is never easy.

Friends are those people we confide on. These are special people we trust with our deepest and darkest secrets and even with our very own lives. It's nice to have friends.

Birdy? Bon Iver? Ed Sheeran? Whoever. They each have a good version.

I first heard this song on the radio. I have no idea what the title is at first and the voice of the artist is not familiar too. What I did was noted the lyrics I was able to catch and tried to google it when I got home. And tada! We were introduced.

I've always wondered what this song actually means. Somehow, after how many times of listening and contemplating at the same time... I eventually came to my senses and got a little personal interpretation of this song.

Skinny love is a sad song. But it is also one of those songs that you can actually relax on. It's easy listening. 

Skinny love tells us about a certain kind of relationship. We experience difficulties in every relationship we engage in and yet we still stay. We want to keep everything in tact. As we try to hold on, we also want the other to hang on to the other end till the shaking ends. I guess it's how every love story works. I mean, no relationship is perfect. It gets even more challenging at times that we think we won't be able to make it anymore.

Unfortunately, "Skinny love" 's love story was not able to make it. It reached its downfall eventually. A dreadful end. 

I really cannot tell if how I feel about the song is exactly the same way it was written. But I hope somehow I was able to get into it.

I usually listen to this song before sleep. I don't know why. It's not that I feel sad or what. It's just relaxing. So I guess this is one of my favorites. One of the many. Makes it to the top 10 though of my long, long list.


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See, I made a lyric picture. Typography it is. Happy listening! :)

Lately, I have been exercising the limbic system of my precious brain. I have learned how to control the emotions I have and somehow figured out how to determine the should-have emotions from the must-suppress emotions. It's a bit tricky and confusing. But I know that it doesn't really matter much whatever you choose to feel. 

Someone I know once told me: "Feelings are neither right nor wrong." And I believe so. You can feel something you aren't supposed to feel and yet it stays there. It stays and you like it. Sometimes, you don't feel what you must really feel. Instead, you feel the complete opposite of the feeling. You see, feelings are confusing.

I cherish every feeling I am able to feel. I mean, not everyone is able to experience diverse emotions. Some are just plain insensitive. I don't blame them. At times I wish I could be.

I figured out a way I could get along with my feelings. I learned that if I gave in to the negative I feel, I can manage to sulk over it for a period of time. I swear it's not something highly recommended. Yet if I ignore what I feel and put it aside, it manages to get back at me in a way or another. Not recommended either.

What helps me now is to pause... close my eyes... breath... and smile.

I know it's kinda crazy but it works on me. 

I know I cannot filter what I feel. Although I wish I can. Who wouldn't want that, right? But reality is, we really can't and we should live with the thought that every now and then, we have this emotional tendencies we are not proud of.

Point is, we feel. It's human nature. But we must know when and how to act upon it. I get hurt, but it does not mean I should get a grip and keep a grudge against the person responsible for the pain.

Sometimes, we just need to live with it. Everyday, a lot of things can make us happy. A lot can make us cry too. It just takes a simple decision of whether you want to stay happy or continue crying. I know I don't want to keep on crying. So today I learned that I can say good things. I can react positively towards a sad revelation or a disappointing news. I just have to inhale the reaction until I completely absorb it. It's not easy. Takes practice.  I still lose myself into my feelings sometimes. 

I know I can always try to be happy. I have a bucket of happy memories in the right side of my brain. I know I have them. But we must also accept that sometimes, memories remain as memories and it's all they can ever be. Maybe for now, maybe it can be relived one day. Just hang on to it and cherish the feeling. It will never fade because you felt it at its best.

People say that you should picture the future -- what you want to be, where you want to be, who you want to be with, etc. It's something normal people usually do. We dream and there's nothing wrong about it. It is normal that we aspire or wish for something to be or have.

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Worry and everything seems worthless. Pray and everything will be worth it.”

It's something I live with and remind myself and those people dear to me about. And I know it helps to be reminded. Somehow makes a difference.

I wonder where the thought goes whenever I feel the unwelcomed-tandem (worry+fear). I wonder how it pops in and in again in my mind. It's bothering.

 I have a lot of things in my mind. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I feel this way. I have special moments when I am able to clear them up and I have worse moments when they pile up one after the other. 

I was running through the thoughts in my mind when I realized that I fear of the things I do not want to happen in the future. That I think about tomorrow too much, think about the day after tomorrow too much. Scared of what tomorrow may bring. Even scared if tomorrow has something to bring. I am scared that the things I do not want to happen may visit me and stay for good. Scared that I might lose something or someone along the way of building myself.

I am scared to take a larger leap. Does it mean then that I have lesser faith?

Maybe. Cos' I have the fear to take the larger leap of my life story.

Somehow, we get so used to what we have, where we stand and everything that is part of our "good" lives. We think that we are satisfied. We do not need anything more. But sometimes, we know we do need more, something much better. We are just scared to take another step towards the better because we are scared of losing the "good" in the process.

Many of us are also blinded that there can be something more. I know I am, sometimes.

The Bible gives us 365 verses that tells us not to fear. 365 days, 365 promises by God. It will be more than enough for us to get through. Jesus said:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God. Have faith also in me."  (John 14:1)

I pray now that the Lord may grant me the wisdom to know His will for me, courage to face it and the humility to accept it will all my heart. He washed my sins. He, too, shall wash away my worries and fears.

A friend texted me about a song. Let me share it too you.



I know it's not just me who worries, who fears. But with all the worries and fear I have in me, I want to convert them into something that could be of use to the others who have more worries and fears than me. I wanna be a part of somebody else's story. Maybe the story could be yours.