I guess life is just like that. We journey in circles. Every single day, we feel like we are spending time on something different but we never really realized that we were on that very same place once. We swore once we would never feel the same way again. We swore to know better. But after some time, here we are again. I don't know the exact probability of the reccurence of things and specific events in ones life. I don't think there's anybody who could measure it. What I know is that things just happen. And whether we realized that it was there before or not, it won't stop things from working the way they are.

Sometimes, we just wish we never experience anything that hurts us or makes us cry more than once. We wish they could just vanish into thin air after causing such pain. But things don't work that way. We just have to live with it. And sometimes, we just need to feel it again. Keeps us human, I guess. It's not as if we could ever be anything aside from being human. Vampire perhaps? Switch off humanity or something like that. Ugh. zZzzz

It's a crazy feeling to be surrounded by people who you couldn't imagine how much fear they can inflict to you even without any effort on their part. It's sad to feel so uneasy within a community you feel so belonged to but in the presence of such people, you instantly feel like your heart is going to jump out of your chest and you feel this crumbling feeling in your stomach like the butterflies are turning wild and all. That feeling when you feel so isolated in one place, scared to move, fearing that turning on one direction may be the worst move. That feeling when you can't seem to find the people that can feel you safe anywhere near. 

I am so tired of feeling this way when you are around. And I know I shouldn't even feel this way. But then again, I am still damn scared. That moment repeating over and over again in my mind is just crazy. I know I'm being paranoid and everything but it's really how I feel. How I feel every single time. How could I even delete that part of my memory? It even keeps me wondering until when will you be able to inflict this fear on me?

That feeling. Scared, uneasy, uncomfortable, anxious. I feel so weak and helpless.

Sorry but I just felt really bad. So help me God.

Tonight, a random message popped into my inbox. And it was kinda funny even imagine how that person could consider asking me such question. Buuut then again a friend recommended me. I also cannot imagine why my friend would even recommend me. I mean, it's just funny. 

Then, I suddenly felt a little sad...

I started ballet when I was young. Quite young.  Lasted for one summer only though.

I've been to two funerals this week. One of which was a somehow expected death and the other one was sudden. Both were old but not quite. Well, not really. Listening to stories of their loved ones about what truly happened or how the death came made me think so much.

Life is just amazing. One day, you have it and then one day, it's gone.

I'm scared of losing people. I'm not really good at goodbyes. Especially those permanent goodbyes.  Some people die of old age, some are sick and have complications, others just die of natural cause. It scares me to think that every passing day, all the people I love (plus me, of course), gets closer to that point in life. It scares me to think that no one ever gets ready for it too.

Reality talks.

Every waking moment reminds me of certain things I would rather forget. But every waking moment allows me to move further as well. I know my place now. The better part is that I finally knew how to take control of what I feel. Fact: I love you. I cannot figure out how or when I could ever unlove you. I know it's what I feel right now. And I will always be here for you. But I cannot be the same person anymore.

A brief moment I spent today
To stare at you from a far, nothing to say
I looked and try to see
How things have been without me

A brief moment I smile to know
That everything is a smooth flow
That you seem fine and well
But from that moment I shall not dwell

A brief moment I stayed still
From afar, it's like a slow kill
I slowly drown with the scenes on my mind
From the start until the last spoken word became unkind

A brief moment I remembered how it happened
Then suddenly it was the end
I move around the place I stand
Uneasy and troubled, not knowing where to land

A brief moment I slowly end
From staring, my heart won't mend
I walk away and feel the pain
I whisper "I still love you", that shall keep me sane

I cannot unlove you. You are and will always be my one great love.

There comes a point when two people just stop talking to each other and start growing apart. What hurts is that one of them feels like drowning while the other one stays afloat. </3

Today a lot hurts. And it hurts to know how the hurt could actually hurt you even more. Tired. So tired. Just tired and hurt.

The Lord is my refuge and my stronghold.

I miss the way we talk to each other.
I miss the way you make me laugh.
I miss the way you hold my hand.
I miss the way you dance your crazy dance.
I miss the way you look at me.
I miss the way you surprise me.
I miss the way you hug me tight.
I miss the way you call my name.
I miss the way you act so sweet.
I miss the way you care for me.
I miss the way you pose for a wacky picture.
I miss the way you sing with me.
I miss the way you smile at me from a far.

Missing you doesn't even sum it all. But I guess what we have right now is what it is. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. So then, I can miss you all I want. I can miss you all the more.

Nobody has the right to judge anybody. I guess we all have our share of brokenness. And we shouldn't blame anyone for it. We made it for ourselves anyway.

“Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first, because without sadness, there is no happiness; you would never learn to smile.”

“What is it about the moment you fall in love? How can such a small measure of time contain such enormity? I suddenly realize why people believe in déjà vu, why people believe they've lived past lives, because there is no way the years I've spent on this earth could possibly encapsulate what I'm feeling. The moment you fall in love feels like it has centuries behind it, generations—all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In you heart, in your bones, no matter how silly you know it is, you feel that everything has been leading to this, all the secret arrows were pointing here, the universe and time itself crafted this long ago, and you are just now realizing it, you are now just arriving at the place you were always meant to be.” 

It's amazing how you could make almost anything out of the nothingness that I have. It's amazing how you could move a little but could touch my inmost being. It feels good to know how a person like you could make me smile in the simplest way possible. I literally and genuinely smile whenever I remember your words. Nice to hear such words. Seldom you say some but priceless whenever you do.

Thank you. I couldn't say anything more. Just that. Thank you.♥

Just this noon, I attended  mass and got a bit annoyed by the distracting things that some Catholics do or act while inside the church. So, here's a list of the 3 things that disappoints me about mass goers. (And I know this does not only apply in one parish.)

1. "Please turn of your mobile phone or switch it to silent mode."

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At times, we get reminded by the commentator before the mass begins. If you can't really switch it off, you can switch it to silent mode at least. It's distracting to hear phones (in full volume or ascending tone) to be ringing while the celebration is going on or in the middle of a good homily by the priest. What's more irritating sometimes is that some people ignore their ringing phones and wait for it to stop ringing. I mean, hello? Can you atleast press any key or cancel the call so that the sound will stop too? Some even dare to answer the texts or call. Considering it's an emergency, you can answer it in a discreet manner. The world does not need to know what your business is or what model of phone you have.

How foolish it is to think that we love only with our hearts. The heart is just an organ with a job to do, a quota to fill. When I love, I don't want to love with a blood-pumping machine. I want to love with every inch of my body.

I will love you with my knees and fingertips, with my elbows and my collarbones. With my freckles and knuckles, my wrinkles and my scars.

And I will love you with all the spaces in between.♥

"One of the best feelings in the world is when you hug the one you love.... and they hug you tighter."♥

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  - Maya Angelou

Love is not about "It's your fault", but "I'm sorry". Not "Where are you?", but "I'm right here". Not "How could you?", but "I understand". Not "I wish you were here", but "I'm thankful you are".♥

People change. Feelings change. Things change. I suppose nothing really lasts forever.

If you cannot adapt to it, you'll be stuck in one corner with the memories you once have. Stuck, immobilized, unable to move on.

We have to learn that that what we have now might not be here tomorrow. Everything has it own time and moment. We just gotta learn when and which to hold on to and to let go.

Find what makes you glad to be alive and hold on to it with clenched fists and a stubborn heart.♥

It can be so easy to get caught up in the rigors of modern life that we tend to forget that happiness need not come with stipulations. Happiness becomes something we must schedule and strive for—a hard-won emotion—and then only when we have no worries to occupy our thoughts. In reality, overwhelming joy is not the exclusive province of those with unlimited time and no troubles to speak of. Many of the happiest people on earth are also those coping with the most serious challenges. They have learned to make time for those simple yet superb pleasures that can be enjoyed quickly and easily. Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile. So much that is ecstasy-inducing can be accomplished in five minutes. Alone, we can enjoy an aromatic cup of our favorite tea, take a stroll through the garden we have created, write about the day's events in a journal, doodle while daydreaming, or breathe deeply while we listen to the silence around us. In the company of a good friend or treasured relative, we can share a few silly jokes, enjoy a waltz around the room, play a fast-paced hand of cards, or reconnect through lighthearted conversation. The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably. It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about.

reposted from an email

Here I am again... On the empty page of composing this blog entry. Well, at least now I was able to write a few lines rather than staring at it and idling while thoughts come in and out of my mind.
It's amazing how the sun actually shines and sets every day. The sun actually goes through the same pattern every single day which is not very different to what we, humans, do. We do routinary work every day. But funny how we sometimes complain yet still manages to do it again the following day.

The sun, we'll never know, maybe tired of shining and setting everyday of its existence. And yet, it's still there. It's meant to be there and so it stays.

Human as we are, we get tired. It's normal. We aren't robots or some kind of battery operated thingy that can be charged whenever we get low-powered. We rest. Our capacity to be tired is usually associated with our capacity to stop and rest for a while. And sometimes, it is even more amazing that we feel so tired but we don't want to stop.

Time is something we can’t hold. It just passes by without a warning or even a pat on the shoulder. But what happens through time can be under our control. We can decide to be happy and at the same time, we can decide to feel miserable.

It’s funny how one person can realize that one’s emotion sometimes can be self-inflicted. And even all emotions can be self-inflicted. But why do we tend to inflict these to ourselves. It’s crazy how you can actually smile but chose to cry instead.


The human brain is very complex that only God, Himself, who created it, is the only one capable of reading it.

Sometimes I wish I could read minds and I know I am not the only person who wants that as well. But think about it. If we can read minds of everyone else around us, what importance will talking and feeling have? We could just trespass onto another’s mind and then what? Nothing. I wonder if we could be able to get a certain satisfaction through it.

Sometimes it’s frustrating when you seem to be mind-guessing. It’s not fun, you know. It is a headache-giver game and I happened to try it like a zillion times since my existence on planet Earth. But I figured out why some people want to be clairvoyant in some ways.

There are certain times when asking just won’t help and that you’d rather read what’s on the other person’s mind so as you know what is happening. And it would be much more convenient to read than to have it explained. At least, when you try to read, there’s no editing. You read what is there and that is it.

But somehow we do not and cannot in any way read each other’s minds and I am also happy we can’t. We are then given the responsibility over the things we think of and of our feelings and reactions. It is like Science. We tend to respond to a certain stimuli. Now it’s up to us to react on it or just shut up and let it pass.

Many times I have regret saying something. Many times I have thought of something but never acted on it. And many times I have kept what I felt inside and just let it dwell in there like a corpse that is slowly decaying. No matter how I try to figure how things work about something I regret of, I somehow thought that it was still me who made the choice and I cannot blame anybody for it. The finger is on me.
This page is getting longer and I’ve been jumping from one thought to another although I placed it all in a one big ball of thoughts.
It nice to be able to write about something you just happened to think about.&nbsp; I know I don’t do this regularly or maybe I do but I keep it in a diary.

Everyday, countless “what-if’s”, “how’s” and “uncategorized thoughts” cross my mind. No wonder why my brain sometimes feels so stressed out. I’m hoping it was stressed by studying but it is not. I cannot even say my thoughts are non-sense because I believe they are not. I guess they are just scribbles in my mind waiting to be told and shared or thrown far, far away.

Memories live and we cannot choose to only keep the happy ones and bury the heartbreaking ones. They come together whether we like it or not. So, smile. No one needs a sour face in a bittersweet world.♥

- repost from my multiply blog entry 2010&nbsp;

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." 

- A Walk to Remember, Nicholas Sparks

The quote from the lovely book of Nicholas Sparks was originally derived from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 specifically. I have managed to read this part of the Bible a hundred times already. Still I wonder what love must be really.

Wondering about it countless times gives me a headache at times but I know I was able to figure out something somehow. I will still be fighting for it. 

Love is a very complex word.

Complex that no word can give the exact meaning of it. No one can ever exactly fathom its depth.

“we accept the love we think we deserve.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I have come across the point of trying hard to analyze why things work this way, why things happen like that and why things will happen in that manner. It's an endless frustration of trying to figure out things you just can't and who knows can.

Sometimes I get to ask myself, why do we need to feel those feelings that are totally and absolutely the opposite of happy. It just doesn't make sense. We feel bad, empty, irritated, unloved, lost, rejected and there goes the long list. At the same time, how can we possibly allow these feelings to be felt by those people who are important to as? 

I pause and think. And continue to think. Still doesn't make sense.

But then again, here's what I thought.

We love the people we love without having any logical explanation to that. Yes, we love them. We can say, "I love him because he's very nice to me." or "I love him because he's so thoughtful." But these are just mere characteristics you find lovable about  a specific person and not about every person who is like that. 3 out of 5 people you know could be nice, all could be thoughtful but truth is, you don't feel the same exact feeling you feel with that specific person.

We hurt the people we love. That's a sad reality. And at the same time, we get hurt by the people who loves us too. But it doesn't mean that they love each other any less. Sometimes, things just happen the way they are. What's important is that they always come back and smile at each other as if nothing happened and everything just gets better.

You see, life is an infinite cycle. Sometimes, we don't even realize that what happened today might already happened yesterday or the other day. And some things are just not meant to be analyze nor dissected. We can believe the things that we want to, we can hope for the things we want to. Life is short. Let's not complicate it. ;) 

"If you do build a great experience, customers tell each other about that. Word of mouth is very powerful." - Jeff Bezos, CEO Amazon.com

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right?

When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care anymore? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the University."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said goodbye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes.  The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, "Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else.  Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house.

She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things, back in his room exactly where he had always kept them.

She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter.. The letter said: Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU.

I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room, and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, y'know.

Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.

Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important.  That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you goodbye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed.

Well, y'know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions 'Where was He when I  needed him?'

God said, He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you.  To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool?

I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life.

Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore ... and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.  That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from:

God, Jesus & Me

If you ever thought of getting your NBI Clearance, I recommend you go to NBI Tagum. Why? First, it's faster to process the clearance there. And second, it's really faster. Hahaha.

I know it's quite weird that someone from Davao would go all the way to another city for that but I guarantee you, it's worth traveling for.

Who among you experienced waking up early in the morning (like about 4am) to go and line up at NBI in JP Laurel Avenue? Lining up and waiting for hours and hours just for you have the clearance. Long hours of waiting, warm weather, crowded waiting area...

I tell you. You wake up at 8am, take a Metro Shuttle coaster at Abreeza terminal (P120 regular fare, P100 discounted).  Travel time is 1-1.5 hours.

Metro Shuttle Tickets (got the students' price on the way back. haha)

The NBI office is just along the National Highway so you could just tell the driver. When you get there, just follow the steps:

Step 1: Present 1 valid ID for you to get a form, fill it out and have it validated back at Step 1. The person in-charge will give you a priority number to be called in Step 2.

Step 2: Cashier. You will pay the same amount you pay here in Davao. The only thing I can recall is for Local Employment P105, travel abroad and for visa is P115. After paying, wait for your name to be called for Step 3.

Step 3: Validate the information you wrote in your form, This is to ensure that they were able to encode your information with the correct spelling and details.

Step 4: Biometrics. The person in-charge will ask for your fingerprints for their record. I like their method now since it's not the messy type compared to the stick-your-finger-in-the-stamp pad method.

Step 5: Picture taking. It's the same web cam thing where you will remove your eye wear, look at the camera and you are not allowed to smile. Haha. Wacky pose not allowed.

Releasing-- your most awaited part! Tadaaa! Then you're good to go. I finished everything for about 10-15 mins.

Here is it! :)

It may be away from Davao but I would rather travel a couple of kilometers to Tagum than to wake up so early and line up at the Davao office. The travel time you have is much lesser compared to your waiting time. Less hassle and saves your energy.

Hope this helps :)

The Missing Piece tells the story of a circle that was missing a piece. A large triangular wedge had been cut out of it. The circle wanted to be whole with nothing missing, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice the flowers or talk to the worms. When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away. The lesson of the story was that in some strange sense we are more WHOLE when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better. He will never know the experience of having someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted and never had. There is a wholeness about the person who has come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, who can lose someone and still feel like a complete person. When we accept that imperfection is part of being human, and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciating it, we will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to. That, I believe, is what God asks of us - not "Be perfect," not "Don't ever make a mistake," but "Be whole." And at the end, if we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another's happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough love to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.

Got this message via email and it struck me. Everyone of us wants to be perfect. Everyone of us wants to have all the things that we dream of, all the things that we desire to have. But human as we are, we are never satisfied. All the more, if we ever get everything we ever wanted, what more is left for us to have. Will we ever get to aim for anything else? I don't think so.

It is indeed true that God never asked us to be perfect nor to not do anything wrong. He just asks of us that we, as imperfect ones, be the people that are always willing to follow His commandments, have faith in Him, walk in His ways, preach His word --- just BE WHOLE. Because with God in our lives, everything is more than enough. :)

When You FALL IN LOVE 
(Debunking the Myths That Are Driving You Crazy) 
By: Bo Sanchez 

This article isn't for teenagers only.

Falling in love happens to the young and the not-so-young. (Did you see 42-year-old Tom Cruise jump up and down Oprah's couch because of Katie?)
It happens to everyone. Fat, thin, tall, short, intelligent, uneducated, holy, not so holy, dark, transparent, yellow, green... it doesn't really matter.
All of us fall in love.
And we get stuck in myths that drive us absolutely crazy.
My goal is to debunk these myths and convince you not to believe in them.
Let's begin....... ... 


MYTH 1: LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL 

Let me qualify.
This is such a tricky myth. Because love ----- as defined by the Bible ------ will conquer all. But love ------ as defined by glazed-eyed lovers ----- will not.

If you believe in this myth, you might do the following:

You overlook major obstacles in your relationship. 

Everyone you know is wondering why you chose that creature from outer space as your boyfriend. Your bestfriends are telling you to get rid of him. Your family is telling you to throw him out of a running vehicle. Aling Rosa of the sari-sari store across the street is telling you to lace his drink with poison.
But you won't --------- because you're in love. That's why there are songs entitled, "you and me against the world"
Your bestbuds comment, 'but he's been jobless for the past three years!"
And you say, "He's free-spirited. He feels boxed in when he's in the office. '(in other words, he's undisciplined, lazy bum.)
Your officemates say, 'He flirts with other women constantly!' and you say, 'No, he's just friendly.' (in other words, he's a pervert)
Your cousins say, 'He's taking drugs, He's got needle marks all over his arm. And you say, 'No, he's into cross stitching.' 

You overstay in toxic relationships, believing that your love will change him. 

The wedding doesn't transform anyone.
Even if three Popes officiate the wedding. 
The person you'll march with into the church will be the same person you'll march with out of the church. He doesn't change one bit.
In fact, the marriage makes the hidden more obvious.
If he was selfish before he got married, he will be even more selfish after the wedding. If he was hypercritical before he got married, he'll even be more vile and prolific with his criticisms after wedding. 
Here's the truth : You need more than feelings of love to make a relationship work. You need mature character, total commitment and a minimum level of compatibility. 
Especially compatibility in the area of values and mission in life. I hear people say, 'We're compatible. Our names begin with the same letter J. My name is Julie and his name is Julio. We're both born in July."
Wow. That's so deep, I want to cry. 

MYTH 2 : WHEN IT"S TRUE LOVE YOU WILL KNOW THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE OTHER PERSON 
I'm sure you've had this experience before.
You are in a crowded room. You're surrounded by boring, noisy chatter when, suddenly, this gorgeous guy enters the door.
Your eyes meet. 
Instantly, time stands still. The universe grinds to a halt. Except for this attractive man in front of you, everything in your vision becomes a giant blur. The hubbub of the crowd becomes a soft muffle and, from out of nowhere, you here gentle violin music from the background.
One week later, he's your boyfriend. 
A few weeks later, you discover that your boyfriend's a pathological liar, buried in credit card debt, borrows money from all his girlfriends (you're his eight in six months).
Your mind says, 'Dump him' 
Your heart says, 'But it was love at first sight!'
Here are the consequences ... 

You become so focused on the magical first moment, you become blind to the dark side of the relationship.
Six out of seven days, you're fighting with your boyfriend. 
But you can't give him up because you met each other in such a magical moment. Your car keys fell and he picked it up, and then your eyes met, you smelled his deodorant, and you dropped your keys again ......How can you not be meant for each other?

You become a love-at-first- sight junkie that you could miss out on the 'real thing'.
One intelligent woman told me, 'Bo, there's this guy who's courting me. He's okay. He's kind, he's responsible, he has a good job.......'
"I could hear a 'but' coming ," I said. 
'but there are no sparks!" she bit her lip.
"No violin music playing in the background huh" 
"none. When I see him, the background music I hear is lululalu-lalulalula lei..." 
"listen. You don't need a magical first moment to meet our potential husband. The important things are mature character, financial responsibility, ability for commitment, compatible mission and values..."
I actually met this girl again on her wedding, and before she marched down the aisle, she whispered to me, "Do you hear the violin music, Bo? It's loud and clear."
It doesn't have to be love at first sight.
In fact, marriages with the least adjustments are those between friends who've known each other for years before they realize that they're good marriage material.
What is love at first sight? 
Many times, it's lust at first sight. Or infatuation at first sight.
Don't give it too much weight. 
Here's the truth: it takes a moment to experience infatuation but true love takes a lifetime. 


MYTH 3 : IF IT IS TRUE LOVE YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY FOR EACH OTHER FOREVER 
No, you won't. Here are the consequences for believing this myth :

You panic when the feelings wane, and wonder whether the marriage is over and whether you really loved one another in the first place.
Imagine the night of your honeymoon.
Your new bride is sleeping. The cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze. You gaze at her lovely face. You study her soft cheeks. Her long eyelashes. Her beautiful nose, her parted red lips.
And all of a sudden, she snores. 
"Ngggggggooork" 
How do you react? Because it's your honeymoon, you say, 'How cute.' 
Six months down the road, the same scene transpires. Your wife is sleeping. And the same cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze.
And you hear her snore. 
"Ngggggoork." 
What do you say?
"Ssssssheeeesh, Honey! You sound like a boat!'
What has happened? The feelings have gone. Let me say this: 'That's normal. It happens to everyone. But it doesn't mean your love is gone so don't panic!
You can make a decision to love the snoring boat.

You start blaming your partner for the loss of love 
This is nutty. 
But many people do it: when we don't feel in love, we think it's the fault of the other person. And so we fight him.
Again, we fall out of love because we're human beings.
It's nobody's fault. 
The moment you fall out of love , the real work begins .
Let me explain. 
This is the most important point I'm going to make. (I got this from Scott Peck in his bestseller book, The Road Less traveled)

Falling in love isn't love
Here's why. When you fall in love..... 
a. No decision is required. Falling in love just happens.
b. No effort is required. Falling in love is like.... Well, falling. 
c. No hard work is required. Falling in love is being bitten by the love bug.

On the other hand, true love requires all three : Decision, effort and lots of hard work. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.
Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love.
When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love.